Why Israel?
Narrative — By admin on August 28, 2008 8:43 amBecause I am a Jew. What that meant, my 9 year old self was not too sure. But it was that simple. Because I was a Jew I had to sit somewhere else. I had to find new friends to spend break time with. I had to grow up and learn about Anti-Semitism. And all this in Grade 4. Quite a tall order, if you ask me.
Perhaps that lesson was a long overdue nudge in the right direction; to ensure the ancient, unspoken rules that govern social interaction remain untarnished. Heaven forbid Jews and Muslims ever cross paths and the idea that they could actually be friends, well that was improbable.
But there you have it. She was my best friend. She, the Muslim. Me, the Jew. And it worked, for a while. The two of us exploring childhood together. The two of us swopping stickers and playing dress up with our Barbie dolls. Once or twice we even took out the scissors and trimmed our Barbie’s hair. And sometimes at the end of it all our Barbies looked more like transvestites trying to grow out their Mohawks. But we had fun and I learnt to be quite creative with synthetic, blond hair.
And of course no childhood friendship would be complete without the magic of Disney, tartrazine and lots of sugar. And these were the things we never ran short of. And laughter. There was plenty of that too.
But we grew up and the laughter ran out. It was in primary school. Grade 4. There was a group of us and I was the only starry-eyed one. The only Jew. And boy they made that pretty clear. Not only was I starry-eyed but I was not welcome.
“Nicole, you can’t sit here anymore. You’re a Jew”.
And now, 13 years later I’ve decided to make Aliyah (to immigrate to the holy land). I’ve filled out the forms. And have started gathering the documents needed to prove I’m Jewish. Yes, you actually need to prove it. It’s not enough that ever since I can remember I’ve had strangers approach me as though they were doing some sort of census. So are you Greek? No, Italian? You must be Portuguese, they’d say to me feeling triumphant as though they’d solved some unfathomable mystery. As though finding out where I could be placed in the pecking order of life would make them feel fulfilled. Why else would they do it?
Poor me, huh? I got such a rough deal. And this is the part where I give you my bank account details so you can contribute to the fund I’ve set up. The I-am-Jewish-so-you-should-feel-sorry-for-me-fund. Ok, not really. But it’s also not the part where I tell you that me making Aliyah has to do with some innate Zionistic desire.To be honest, a part of me is disgusted by the state of Israel. But who am I to talk , I’m not Israeli. So it certainly isn’t Zionism that is driving me.
I can’t explain it, I think being singled out and told you can’t do something because you’re a Jew may have something to do with it. See now more than ever I am curious about what it means to be a Jew. And a part of me hopes that Israel will have some of those answers.
So for those of you that I’ve told about making Aliyah. And those of you that have given me the “Why Israel” response try and understand. It sounds crazy. But for the first time in my life I feel that this is something that I need to do not because someone is telling me to but because if I don’t my life will be empty and meaningless ; the worst type of life to lead.
Tags: aliyah, anti-semitism, apartheid, immigration, israel, jew, jewish, journey, muslim, nicole hyman
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6 Comments
Good luck.Will miss you.Growing up gay wasn’t much fun either. Hug
I think it will be a wonderful experience.
we will all miss you, but as you are young and your whole life is ahead of you, you must go for it and enjoy. Israel will be luck to have you.
Nicole,
This is a very brave decision you’ve taken, especially considering your ambivalence towards the politics of the Israeli state.
But you’re an adult, and like of us, you’re entitled to make bold choices. Heck, you’re even entitled to make mistakes.
You’re young still…
Give it a go and see what gives.
Also, listen to Vanessa L. Williams’ ” Long Way Home” from the album ‘Sweetest Days’ [Polygram 1994].
I used to listen to that song almost every day when I lived in the United States almost 10 years ago. Ironically, New York was, is, and will always be my favourite city. However, I can tell you that I’ve never felt as lonely as I did during the first few years of life in America.
I hope you’re prepared for that…
Howdy, you possibly wont like this, but I’m going to give you my 2 cents worth in any case just because I can.
I get the feeling you are running away from something you have never actually dealt with? I get the impression that you are trying to prove your worth by making Aliyah. You don’t need to live in Israel in order to be Jewish or to show people that you are Jewish, the same way you don’t need to go to shul, church or where ever it is you go to prove who and what you are.
I believe that if you don’t have your self and aren’t able to accept your fate/fortune, you can go to the ends of the earth and still lead an empty life.
In order to move forward in ones life after any hurtful or traumatic experience, I feel its important to be able to forgive. By not forgiving you are holding on to that hurt which only holds you back and you end up making that incident the center of your being instead of making that incident apart of your life.
Personally I think you are rushing into this, I feel you should give it some time and think it through to ensure you are in fact making the correct decision. Keep in mind this isn’t something you can just undo at the flick of a switch…..
I believe the secret of a joyful and contented life is to follow your heart and dreams
I know the adventurous you; it must be somewhere controversial where you travel to stimulate that inquisitive and intellectual mind. A country where you will make your mark expressing yourself in your honest and open manner
To an extent I think you may have a prejudged view of Israel, but when you are there I am sure it will give you an objective perspective
You will be returning to the land of your biblical ancestors, to me it is a courageous decision. It will not be without its difficulties but then I know how well you will cope
Every Jew in the Diaspora has felt the sting of Anti-Semitism; so just remember your roots are from a special people who have excelled in every way far beyond their numbers and others expectations
Remember Israel is a melting pot with immigrants from all over the world; there is so much diversity to feed your curiosity
In my opinion there are two factors which bind Israel and make it great:
It is a common heritage and religion
A common enemy
This is the core, cement and fabric of its society
My message to you is travel there and experience your full potential
I will miss you, you will never know how much
I am proud of you and love you very much
Shalom
Hey friend, your first post has really explained your decision a lot to me. I really admire you for the big step you’re taking. I got in touch with Simon, but unfortunately he doesn’t know anybody in Israel media, only Palestine. Let me know if I can help with anything else! I started my blog as well: I got the job at fin24.com so I am going to Joburg! http://inesschumacher.wordpress.com. Can’t wait to read more about your adventures in Israel!!!